


Where Dirty Wrong Things Meet

by dustandroses



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Cliche Fic, Coitus Interruptus, Community: tamingthemuse, Ficlet, M/M, PWP, Personal Cliche Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 21:44:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustandroses/pseuds/dustandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander gets what he wants...eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Dirty Wrong Things Meet

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt Notes: ******Inspiration for this chapter taken from the Live Journal Community Tamingthemuse prompt #369: Making ends not quite meet  
>  **Notes:** This is not at all the fic I intended to write, but it still fits the prompt, although not as closely as it would have, if the Muse had been cooperative. But then, hey, these prompts are all about the Muse, anyway. So I'm not going to complain. Too much.  
>  This is a personal cliche fic. For as few words as there are in the story, I packed in a number of my own personal cliches: coitus interruptus, sex against a wall, Xander overwhelmed by Spike's oral skills, my own personal form of Xander babble, butts, schoolboys creaming their jeans, noodle legs - I even worked in an elephant!

Xander was amazed. He was astonished. Don't forget astounded, plus a few other “a” words he just couldn’t think of at the moment, because his brain was fried. 

That was Spike’s fault. Totally Spike’s fault. In no way had Xander encouraged Spike kissage. It’s not like he’d been mooning about, watching Spike’s sexy, shirtless form as he worked out, all supple, and firm, and incredibly fit. Under no circumstances would Xander have been leaking pheromones like a cat in heat, just begging Spike to come over and push him up against a wall, and kiss him stupid…er. Because he would never do that. Never. No matter how much he’d thought about it. Really, he wouldn’t.

But there Xander was, his body held up only by Spike’s long, smooth muscles as they pressed tightly against his own, since his knees had given out not long after the kiss had started. And there he was back at the kiss again. _Kisses_. Because there had definitely been more than one, he was pretty sure of that. Not positive, though – it was all a little blurred. Which was understandable, under the circumstances. Circumstances like Xander being held up by the thigh Spike had slipped between his legs – the thigh currently pressing up against his aching balls as he moaned into Spike’s mouth.

Spike’s hand was definitely not slipping down to cup his palm over Xander’s cock, while he murmured words like, “Let me help you with that, Xan,” and nibbled on Xander’s ear, making Xander’s eyes close in pleasure. 

No, Spike didn’t do helpful. Especially not for Xander. And when did Spike start using his name, anyway? He never used Xander’s name. Spike never whispered in his ear all the things he wanted to do to Xander, dirty, wrong things that had Xander seconds away from creaming in his jeans like some schoolboy in the girl’s locker room.

“Hey Xander, I thought….” 

That...didn’t sound a thing like Spike. Suddenly Spike’s mouth disconnected from Xander’s ear, and that was not okay. What happened to all the dirty, wrong things he’d promised Xander just seconds ago?

“You need to step away from the Xander.” Xander’s eyes popped open. That was a Buffy-in-command voice if he ever heard one. 

“You sure that’s what you want, luv?” Well, that was a Spike voice, but it sounded rather smug, and Xander wasn’t sure why under the circumstances. 

“I’m serious, Spike. Go away. Xander and I need to have a talk.” Whoa. When had Buffy turned into Joyce? Because that was definitely a mom voice.

Spike looked back at Xander, and winked at him, the heat in his eyes promising more of what they’d already had and then some, just as soon as they could get rid of the Buffster. Then he stepped back, away from Xander, who slowly slid down the wall to collapse in a heap on the floor. Legs? He used to have some of those, Xander thought, before Spike turned them into noodles with his wicked, wicked tongue.

Spike walked away without another glance at either of them, and stepped out the back door, lighting a cigarette. “I’ll just be out here, having a smoke, then,” he said. “Let me know when you’re through with your conversation. Xander and I have some unfinished business to take care of.” 

The door closed behind Spike, and Buffy was left staring at the Xander-shaped puddle on the backroom floor. She walked over and sat down across from him, her eyes flicking down once, then consciously avoiding the conspicuous bulge in the front of Xander’s jeans. He pulled his knees up in front of him, and encircled them with his arms. It seemed the smartest thing to do, at the moment, and it allowed them to avoid at least a portion of the big, polka dotted elephant in ballet shoes pirouetting around the room.

“Xander…” That was as far as she got. She took a deep breath, and tried again. “Xan...” 

He cringed internally. “Xan” sounded wrong coming out of her mouth so soon after he’d heard the word out of Spike’s. Spike of the sleek muscles and incredibly gifted tongue. He blinked, and forcefully returned his focus back to Buffy. 

“I know you’ve been considering the benefits of bisexuality, recently. We’ve already had the supportive friend discussion, and I stand by it. But…”

There was always a “but.” A vision of Spike’s taut globes, as Xander watched him move through his workout, filled Xander’s head. Mmmm…Spike butt. Oh, wait. Xander realized that was probably not the kind of “but” she had in mind.

“But…are you sure _Spike_ is who you’re looking for?”

Xander wanted to say, “Hell yes!” He wanted to shout, “Abso-fucking-lutely!” to the rafters, but the room wasn’t tall enough for rafters, so he just had to settle for, “ _Yes_.” 

Pushing all the power of his Jedi Mind Tricks™ into the word, he willed her to believe him. She must have gotten the full dose, because she leaned forward, and gave him a big hug. He hugged her back, because even if he was no longer crushing on Buffy, he’d never outgrow Buffy hugs.

“Be careful, okay?” she asked. “He’s not the most trustworthy creature on the Hellmouth. I mean, I can see the attraction; he’s lithe, well muscled, and extremely easy on the eye…” 

Her eyes lost focus for a moment, and Xander frowned, uncomfortable with where she was headed with that thought, but then she shuddered, and came back to herself again.

“Anyway, what I wanted to say was, ‘go you!’ Don’t forget that Willow and I love you. In a non-groiny way, of course.” She got up, and headed back into the store.

“Oh, and if you happen to take pictures… Or video! Video tape would not go amiss…”

Xander stood up, hands on his hips, but before he could say anything, she was gone, locking the door as she left. 

Then Spike was back, and Xander forgot all about Buffy, and her inappropriate suggestions, because Spike! He pressed his body close, pushing Xander back against the wall in a totally pleasurable way.

“Now then,” Spike murmured, “where were we?”


End file.
